A Diamante

Template Words

ocean
choppy, wet
roaring, dipping, spraying
ship, whitecap, lullaby
shining, darkening, flying
starry, black
sky

Diamante

Ocean   Sky

choppy   smooth

whitecaps   black vastness

roaring   hums lullaby

as water rolls   of stationary stars

down to shore   touching heaven

with darkness   with light

with light   with darkness

touching heaven   down to shore

of stationary stars   as water rolls

hums lullaby   roaring

black vastness   whitecaps

smooth   choppy

Sky   Ocean

Written for http://margoroby.wordpress.com/tuesday-tryouts

 

About purplepeninportland

I am a freelance poet, born and bred in Brooklyn, New York. I live with my husband, John, and two charming rescue dogs–Marion Miller and Murphy. We spent eight lovely years in Portland, OR, but are now back in New York. My goal is to create and share poetry with others who write, or simply enjoy reading poetry. I hope to touch a nerve in you, and feel your sparks as well.
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20 Responses to A Diamante

  1. margo roby says:

    I hate the internet. I wrote a whole paragraph and it disappeared into the ether.

    You did fine. The only thing I said, besides how much I am enjoying the differences in everyone’s diamantes, was that what you call the template is your diamante and what you call a diamante is the way I evolved my diamante. As it happens, it works well for yours.

    Like

  2. Janet says:

    I LOVE this but am sort of scared to try it:) WOW, what a great topic. The reader is borne on the poem in its rhythmic rise and fall!

    Like

  3. vivinfrance says:

    I like the way you have used the contrasting thoughts side by side, to create a definite wave motion in the reader’s mind.

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  4. pmwanken says:

    So fun!
    It took me so long to get the diamante part done, it evolved into….me getting ready to sleep for the night! 😉
    Well done, Sara!

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  5. Misky says:

    I usually don’t do this but I like yours so much I thought I should: you’ve misspelt heaven as heven. Or haven as heven … maybe.

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  6. Sara, I love the template poem, but the second one also evolves nicely. I enjoyed this challenge.

    Pamela

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  7. Very nice!!! Love that …we both chose ocean…and I had stream! Love yours!!

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  8. JulesPaige says:

    Two of my favorite things, the ocean and stars. You have reminded me of visit to Maui – ocean all around the island and at night the stars were so crisp, singing sweet lullabies.

    Thanks for your visit.

    Like

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