Written for:  dVerse Poets Pub-Meeting the Bar:  the Golden Shovel form

Here are the rules, in a nutshell:

– Take a line (or lines) from a poem you admire.
– Use each word in the line(s) as an END word in your poem.
– Keep the words from the original line in order. When finished, you will be able to read down the right margin, and have the original chosen line intact.
– Give credit to the poet who wrote the line(s). You may also want to include a link to the original poem, so we can see your inspiration.
– The new poem does not have to be about the same subject matter, but it can be in a similar vein, if you choose. Or not.

For example, if you choose a line with 6 words, your poem will be 6 lines long. If you pull a whole stanza with 22 words, your poem would be 22 lines long. Etc. There are no rules for meter, syllable count, etc. You can place two words per line, or as many as you want, so long as the last word of each line stays true to the original inspiration.

I chose the first line from “A Blessing For Wedding” by Jane Hirshfield, which follows:

A Blessing for Wedding
Jane Hirshfield, 1953

Today when persimmons ripen
Today when fox-kits come out of their den into snow
Today when the spotted egg releases its wren song
Today when the maple sets down its red leaves
Today when windows keep their promise to open
Today when fire keeps its promise to warm
Today when someone you love has died
or someone you never met has died
Today when someone you love has been born
or someone you will not meet has been born
Today when rain leaps to the waiting of roots in their dryness
Today when starlight bends to the roofs of the hungry and tired
Today when someone sits long inside his last sorrow
Today when someone steps into the heat of her first embrace
Today, let this light bless you
With these friends let it bless you
With snow-scent and lavender bless you
Let the vow of this day keep itself wildly and wholly
Spoken and silent, surprise you inside your ears
Sleeping and waking, unfold itself inside your eyes
Let its fierceness and tenderness hold you
Let its vastness be undisguised in all your days

Originally published in Come, Thief (Knopf, 2011); all rights reserved. Copyright © by Jane Hirshfield. Reprinted with the permission of the author.

Today when persimmons ripen

Oh how we have waited for today
to dance a waltz when
our daughter weds. Like a panoply of bright persimmons,
bridesmaids’ dresses float across floor; your apple cheeks ripen.

About purplepeninportland

I am a freelance poet, born and bred in Brooklyn, New York. I live with my husband, John, and two charming rescue dogs–Marion Miller and Murphy. We spent eight lovely years in Portland, OR, but are now back in New York. My goal is to create and share poetry with others who write, or simply enjoy reading poetry. I hope to touch a nerve in you, and feel your sparks as well.
This entry was posted in Purple's Home and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Wedding

  1. Love the twist from description to personal comment at the close of the last line. Lovely.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love the thought of the apple cheeks blossoming…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sweet and tender

    Liked by 1 person

  4. whimsygizmo says:

    Deeply, deeply beautiful, Sara. I just love this.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jillys2016 says:

    Panoply – excellent choice! This is a read and reread poem; beautiful images float across the lines.


  6. Glenn Buttkus says:

    I get a lovely Zen vibe from this, reminding us to seize each moment, to slow down, to breathe deeply, to embrace the Now: I like the lines /today when someone you love dies/or someone you never met died/.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. kaykuala h says:

    How wonderful to share the great moments with the young bride! Exhaustingly for a good cause Sara!


    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pure Sara brilliance. Very nice.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. PSC says:

    Such a sweet space in time — a snapshot of a happy moment — preserved and lovely!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.