Blistering Heat on Walking Trail

Written for:  Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads – Weekend Mini-Challenge
Fussy Little Forms:  Tritina  (posted by Marian)

“Tritina is the more compact step-sister of sestina and villanelle, two forms that I (you?) find difficult! But somehow in this shorter version it seems manageable. Could be I’m wrong, but let’s try anyway. Tritina was invented by the American poet Marie Ponsot, who says about strict poetry forms:

“The forms create an almost bodily pleasure in the poet. What you’re doing is trying to discover. They are not restrictive. They pull things out of you. They help you remember.”

So the rules of tritina are as follows. It is a ten-line poem with three tercets and a final line, featuring three repeating, non-rhyming line-end words, like this:
The final line contains all 3 words as 1-2-3


On walking trail under a hot sun
a river otter waddles down the path.
Odd to see this sleek creature on pavement.

Bloated slugs stick to concrete pavement.
White streaks of light shimmer in the sun.
Two dogs, tongues lolling, want off  path.

We head home at the end of the path.
Dog pads are burning on hot pavement.
Inside, we drank water, hope for setting sun.

Even a sun lover needs to find the path home when pavement sizzles.

About purplepeninportland

I am a freelance poet, born and bred in Brooklyn, New York. I live with my husband, John, and two charming rescue dogs–Marion Miller and Murphy. We spent eight lovely years in Portland, OR, but are now back in New York. My goal is to create and share poetry with others who write, or simply enjoy reading poetry. I hope to touch a nerve in you, and feel your sparks as well.
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13 Responses to Blistering Heat on Walking Trail

  1. Just Barry says:

    Love the descriptive details that accompany your journey on the hot path.


  2. Margaret Elizabeth Bednar says:

    To see an otter in the wild would be so cool – I’ve only seen one in a zoo.


  3. kim881 says:

    I wandered that hot path with you, Sara! I love the detail, even the bloated slugs!


  4. Marian says:

    Ah a terrific scene and a really wonderful conclusion! Yes, even the human and canine sun lovers sometimes need to find the shade. Love this.


  5. I personally would always seek for shade on a hot day like that…


  6. Helen says:

    Reading through the poetry this morning I am struck with the brilliance of the last lines ~ yours included!


  7. kanzensakura says:

    A super walk. I always seek the shade and never the hit sun. I felt for those hot pups


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