Written for: Carpe Diem #1527 Rustling Leaves (extreme haibun)
This episode I have titled “Rustling Leaves” and rustling we can use for spring and for autumn, so the whole world can easily sense the meaning of this theme. I love to challenge you to create an extreme haibun. What does that mean … an extreme haibun?
Well let me tell you … to create an extreme haibun I have a few rules you have to use:
1. Your haibun may have a maximum of 60 words (tenfold our 6th anniversary) including your haiku or tanka;
2. Your haiku or tanka has to follow the classical rules as you can find above in the Carpe Diem Lecture One (1).
3. Try to create your haibun with a lay-out of leaves (of course this rule is free to use, if you don’t want to use this 3rd rule than that’s okay.)
br.napster.com
“Listen, listen. Do you hear that mysterious sound? It’s the voice of the wind, the gods are talking with us. Listen to the sound of the wind, the birds, the young leaves, listen with your heart not with your mind.
The rustling leaves have something to tell you … do you hear them whisper?”
rustling leaves
the voice of the wind … listen
“love each other”
© Chèvrefeuille (our host)
Here is my attempt:
Lifted by autumn’s breeze, leaves dance, swirl,
and sail to the ground in piles that become brittle,
rustling quickly at the touch of my feet.
to hear Fall crackle
leaf piles are jumped and stomped on
by giddy children
I like the energy here Sara – the sense of movement, and swirling, of the leaves falling and play 🙂
and the closing in the haibun crackles with rustles and crunches and all good stuff Autumn. And Crackle in the Haiku really ups the ante and energy – makes me feel like I should go outside and run wild in the massive heaps and leaf “sloughs” here … great stuff here. 🙂
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Thanks so much, Pat. Have a go at it!
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I might just have to crunch my way through it – we have pools of leaves more than ankle deep ( for the woods etc.) … and since the leaves are down – all of them …. but I think I might just wait until it dries out a wee tad 😉
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Of course! You need them to be crisp.
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still much to wet …. and frosty at night … maybe in a few more days – LOL 😉
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Wow! What a wonderful haibun this is Sara … it’s a great example of ‘undou’ (movement) that haiku writing technique I created. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for giving us the inspiration.
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