haiku “photo-shopped”

Written for:  Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #82 Introducing a new feature … “photo-shopping haiku”
Photo-shopping sounds awful but, I think it’s possible to “photo-shop” haiku and tanka too. Just a little change can make the difference between a good haiku (or tanka) and an excellent haiku (or tanka).

Let me give you an example:

autumn has come
visiting my ear on
a pillow of wind

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

As I start “photo-shopping” this haiku by my master, Matsuo Basho, than I think ‘I can bring more softness, tranquility, into it by changing a small part of this haiku into:

whispering into my ear
on a pillow of wind

In this example I only let the first line un-touched:

autumn has come
whispering into my ear
on a pillow of wind

© Chèvrefeuille (our host)

Here is my attempt:

a pillow of wind
caresses my sleeping ear
Autumn’s arrival

http://chevrefeuillescarpediem.blogspot.com

About purplepeninportland

I am a freelance poet, born and bred in Brooklyn, New York. I live with my husband, John, and two charming rescue dogs–Marion Miller and Murphy. We spent eight lovely years in Portland, OR, but are now back in New York. My goal is to create and share poetry with others who write, or simply enjoy reading poetry. I hope to touch a nerve in you, and feel your sparks as well.
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2 Responses to haiku “photo-shopped”

  1. Nicely done Sara. You have created a wonderful “photo-shopped” haiku just by a little retouching.

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