Written for: Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads – Mini-Challenge: Let Evening Come (posted by Kim)
“I have chosen a poem by Jane Kenyon, ‘Let Evening Come’, to inspire your pastoral poems this weekend:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46431/let-evening-come
“I would like you to write a new pastoral poem about evening, the shift from late afternoon through twilight to the black shed of night, following the format of Jane Kenyon’s poem, but no more than six tercets.”
On tree tops
gold gems dance
pinpoints in a sinking sun
Fiery mustard disk
deepens red ’round edges
preparing for twilight
Chatter of birds
in bushes–cacophony
of merging melodies. Shadows
lengthen as street lamps
burst to light, a sharp
taste of emptiness on the tongue
Gradually, winking glow
of fireflies sparkle. Moon
slips into its slot of night sky.
Yes, there is that “light” just before dusk that is truly magical.
LikeLike
Thanks, Margaret.
LikeLike
Once as youngsters it was fun to part of the world especially seeing the day end at dusk and lucky if you were up early enough to witness the dawn.
LikeLike
The dawn still eludes me.
LikeLike
Although I am a morning person, I love the quality of light at the end of the day, which I always thought was grainy, but I recognise those gold gems, dancing ‘pinpoints in a sinking sun’. I love the use of colour, Sara: the ‘fiery mustard disk’ that ‘deepens red ’round edges’, and the ‘sharp taste of emptiness on the tongue’.
LikeLike
Thanks, Kim!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like how the one man made element is swallowed up by the details of the natural world.
LikeLike
Very insightful point.
LikeLike
Sigh …. fireflies. I miss them out here on Oregon’s High Desert. I enjoyed your poem!
LikeLike
Thanks, Helen. I saw a circle of them outside my house several nights ago.
LikeLike
It’s been years since I’ve seen fireflies, but your poem helped me to remember how magical they are.
LikeLike
Yes, they really are wonderful and unique.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am late to the party today, but here now to read. This is a wonderful write Sara, and a worthy tribute to evening. Lovethe glowing firefly sparkle!
LikeLike
Thanks, Rob!
LikeLike