Evening Coming On

Written for:  Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads – Mini-Challenge:  Let Evening Come  (posted by Kim)

“I have chosen a poem by Jane Kenyon, ‘Let Evening Come’, to inspire your pastoral poems this weekend:

“I would like you to write a new pastoral poem about evening, the shift from late afternoon through twilight to the black shed of night, following the format of Jane Kenyon’s poem, but no more than six tercets.”

On  tree tops
gold gems dance
pinpoints in a sinking sun

Fiery mustard disk
deepens red ’round edges
preparing for twilight

Chatter of birds
in bushes–cacophony
of merging melodies. Shadows

lengthen as street lamps
burst to light, a sharp
taste of emptiness on the tongue

Gradually, winking glow
of fireflies sparkle. Moon
slips into its slot of night sky.


About purplepeninportland

I am a freelance poet, born and bred in Brooklyn, New York. I live with my husband, John, and two charming rescue dogs–Marion Miller and Murphy. We spent eight lovely years in Portland, OR, but are now back in New York. My goal is to create and share poetry with others who write, or simply enjoy reading poetry. I hope to touch a nerve in you, and feel your sparks as well.
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14 Responses to Evening Coming On

  1. Margaret Elizabeth Bednar says:

    Yes, there is that “light” just before dusk that is truly magical.


  2. oldegg says:

    Once as youngsters it was fun to part of the world especially seeing the day end at dusk and lucky if you were up early enough to witness the dawn.


  3. kim881 says:

    Although I am a morning person, I love the quality of light at the end of the day, which I always thought was grainy, but I recognise those gold gems, dancing ‘pinpoints in a sinking sun’. I love the use of colour, Sara: the ‘fiery mustard disk’ that ‘deepens red ’round edges’, and the ‘sharp taste of emptiness on the tongue’.


  4. Kestril Trueseeker says:

    I like how the one man made element is swallowed up by the details of the natural world.


  5. Helen says:

    Sigh …. fireflies. I miss them out here on Oregon’s High Desert. I enjoyed your poem!


  6. It’s been years since I’ve seen fireflies, but your poem helped me to remember how magical they are.


  7. robtkistner says:

    I am late to the party today, but here now to read. This is a wonderful write Sara, and a worthy tribute to evening. Lovethe glowing firefly sparkle!


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